God Winks

There is a book out there called "When God Winks" ... and it explains all of those little joys, serendipitous meetings, and unfathomable coincidences as little reminders that this big 'ol scary world is also filled with the love of God. The author, Squire Rushnell explains that these "GodWinks" are swift answers to prayers at just the right moment, even if those prayers have gone unsaid. Rushnell puts it this way:


A godwink is what some people would call a coincidence, an answered prayer, or simply an experience where you'd say, "Wow, what are the odds of that!" Think about when you were a kid and someone you loved gave you a little wink across the dining room table...Mom or Dad or Grandma. You didn't say "What do you mean by that?" You knew. It meant: "Hey kid, I'm thinking about you right now." That's what a godwink is too: a message of reassurance from above, directly to you, out of six billion people on the planet, saying "Hey kid...I'm thinking of you! Keep the faith! You're never alone."


I like to think that these same types of experiences can also be longer then the brief and fleeting happiness of getting the front row parking spot, or being late for your plane, which has also been delayed. Sometimes, they last for longer periods of pure joy. We can all think of those times we've had, when nothing was going wrong, everyone was healthy and our cups runneth over. Perhaps it was a wedding day, a particularly amazing weekend with the family, seeing a child born or moving into the perfect little home with a man you love.

A year ago today, Shawn and I enjoyed one of those times - in Charleston on our engagement weekend. Despite a weekend rainstorm that threatened overhead the whole weekend, the rain held off and Shawn proposed to me on Middleton Plantation, beneath the giant oak tree. It was wonderful and it seemed an entire world away from all the fuss of real life. Eating breakfast with Shawn the following morning overlooking a river and spending the morning playing with a baby sheep who was all to willing to let us pet her was one of my most prized memories. More GodWinks in the year to come? Yes, please! :)

Happiness

I can't help but grin whenever I look at this adorable picture, and so I thought I would share it. Enjoy the sweet happiness of puppy love. 

The Job Hunt

Since graduation is officially only 65 days away, I've been on a pretty fierce job hunt in the last few weeks.  Last year I couldn't WAIT to graduate because it meant:

- graduating with Masters
- getting a real job
- moving to a new city
- buying a house
- finishing the planning for my September wedding!
- get married
- begin life


Now that the time is so close, that picture seems to be changing.

After calling 32 preservation organizations, I have spoken with:


6 people who encouraged me in my search, but told me they didn't have any jobs.
3 rude secretaries. 
10 answering machines.
2 directors who had full out discussions with me on the future of preservation.
7 people who tell me there are "no jobs" but ask for my resume.
1 person tell me it's okay to wait tables.
1 person who suggested a different field entirely.
2 foundations who had potential jobs and liked my resume, but lost funding.


Now it seems the outlook may look something like this:
- graduate with Masters
- work retail job
- continue living in small 500 square foot apartment
- volunteer at Preservation organization
- get married
- find part time preservation job

All in all, the second version isn't bad at all now that I see it written out. It just seems like if I can't get a job with my new degree before the wedding, I don't really feel like a responsible adult! I want to feel like the last 2 years were worth the effort and stress and being turned away so many times it is flat out disheartening. At what point am I supposed to give up on finding a paid preservation job and try to find ANY job.

 In the long run, everyone has encouraged me that even though it may take awhile, I'll find something eventually. Until then, I'll focus on finishing my degree and getting my name out there.

... and if I have to stay in this tiny apartment, I WILL be painting a wall or two, I don't care what Shawn says.

Breakaway

When I graduated high school, the following song was played at our ceremony:

"Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane
Far away
And break away."


I loved the song, but it took on new resonance when I returned back to Fayetteville this past weekend to speak at my old High School. To begin the weekend, I met an old friend for a 1:30pm lunch and we didn't leave till nearly 6pm. Our Smithfield's teas where refilled numerous times, and we spoke about everything from weddings and marriages to children years down the road. I remember having the same conversations with her when we were in 7th grade, and now our "husbands" aren't unnamed, faceless men - they're real, honest, hardworking, godfearin', friendly blokes who have committed their lives to us.


I wrote a few weeks ago about the pulls of a hometown, the things I miss and the memorable qualities of where I'm from. This week, I was reminded of how far many of us have come, and the amazing things that came to us because we took a risk and left for the unknown. 


When I stood in front of the high school students who now sit in the desks I once sat in, I was suddenly reminded of how blessed I've been to have made such a smooth transition between student and professional. I remember how scary and yet exciting leaving all of those things behind to pursue college was. It's eerily similar to the way life feels now, as I sit on the brink of graduation throwing myself out into the dark unknown of my future career. I can't wait to see how things will turn out, I know God has a plan for it all! In the mean time, it's fun to think of all the possibilities that might be! :) Here's to hoping my future employer finds me sooner rather than later!!! 


"Anything is possible, if the future is unknown."

Mini Cooper's Bad Day

This is my Mini Cooper. She's only 5 months old. Last week, she was attacked for no good reason, I can't even imagine how scared she must of been ... oh wait - yes I can. I was there, scared right along with her.

.... before Shawn and I went to bed, he heard a loud noise and looked out the window - no, it wasn't a squirrel fight, or even the crash of a bird dying in mid air and hitting Shawn's sunroof - it was a man up to his waist INSIDE MY CAR, his feet were even off the ground! Was this really happening?! Before I knew what was going on, Shawn was out the front door - no shoes or shirt on - just pajama pants, running after the vandal. Thankfully, Shawn keeps himself impressively buff and he scared the man, who jumped in his idling truck and peeled out. With broken glass all over the parking spot, and my GPS missing from the window, it was not a fun scene. We called the police, had to file a report (even ride in the back of a squad car to identify two poor hand-cuffed men that drove a similar car, but were not the vandals.) and in the morning, after only 3 hours of sleep, CSI arrived to take fingerprints. Thankfully, we realized the GPS was still dangling from its cord, and nothing was actually stolen - aside from the suction cup that stuck it to my window - seriously? The suction cup? Good luck with that.

I'm sure this bad boy will rake in $3 on the street.

Cakalaki

I never thought growing up in a rural area of North Carolina, surrounded by fields of cotton and cows, that I would ever find virtue in such a simple way of life. Through high school and beyond I was so happy to get out of Fayetteville, and the lesser known region of Gray's Creek where I was raised. With one of the worst crime rates on the eastern seaboard and a 25 minute drive to the nearest shopping outlet, no one ever raised their eyebrows in jealousy over my hometown like they often did for those from Charleston, Savannah, Boston, even Raleigh or Asheville. Yet over the past few years when I return for holidays or to visit my mother, I've found myself smiling as the tall buildings fade and the open landscape spreads open its arm in welcome.

Although I'm certain after years of living closer to larger cities, I could never quite do without them, I've developed an appreciation for the quieter, slower way of life when it's needed. I'm not yet sure where my career as a preservationist will lead me, but I do know that some part of me will always see Carolina as my home. The tall pine trees and azaleas in the front yard of the house I grew up in remain as steady as ever. The bench that sits in their shade continues to endure the seasons and is often a resting place for snow, pine needles, fallen flowers and lazy cats ... and sometimes I nostalgic 20-something.

The dress has been hunted down, found, and captured!

After trying on something close to 80 dresses, I finally chose the one I will be wearing on my wedding day! (It only took me 10 months of searching - glad I had a long engagement!) I found my special dress when I happened to have my mom and aunt with me (who have only come on 2 of about 16 trips to dress stores). I had a dress that I liked and I wanted to show mom, to make it look beautiful and to show her that it was the best choice, so I brought her in and choose 4 other random (and completely different) dresses to make the one I was interested in stand out. While I was jabbering to the sales lady as she helped me get dressed, I looked in the mirror and one of the "randoms" I chose completely shocked me! It was nothing like I had been looking for (maybe why it took me so long) and the total opposite of what I had picked out, but it screamed plantation, and it screamed "Perry!" Although it took me a number of months to get the courage to buy it, I finally took the plunge! I feel so beautiful and I wish I had more than one day to wear it!

I'm so grateful that my last and final decision for the wedding has been made before classes start back for the Spring semester! Although I still have all the little loose ends to tie up in the next few months, I'm going to need as much as time as possible dedicated to my Comprehensive exams and thesis ... I don't know what I'm looking forward to more at this point - the wedding or finishing with grad school!

When I dream of my wedding day...

When I dream of my wedding day, I don't always picture me in a big white dress, meandering down an aisle while all eyes are on me, ooing over the dress (that I FINALLY picked out!). For me, I have a different vision....

I picture my future husband at the end. Smiling back at me with his red hair highlighted by the light from the sunset, a huge smile and sparkling green eyes. I picture the wedding and ceremony as terribly exciting and all too brief.

Finally, I picture waking up next to my best friend and hopping a plane to Ireland. Yes, two of the most exciting (and unexpectedly fun) decisions have been my groom's attire and the honeymoon.

When looking through men's attire, I fell in love with the cutaway jacket, or morning coat. While some people say their dress finds them, this suit found me. It screamed of turn-of-the-century English gentleman. Throw it on the man of my dreams, Mr. Shawn Adams and it's all too perfect. Completely and utterly looking forward to seeing him standing there at the end of the aisle in it with that beautiful teal tie. After the best evening of my life, I simply can't wait to spend a week traveling the Irish countryside as the new Mrs. Adams with my brand new hubby by my side!

... I really need to put down the romance novels. It can't be healthy to have read 4 since classes ended in December.

2010: The year of change!

I can't believe it, 2010 is finally here! This year is bringing some of the biggest life changes for me and while I'm eagerly anticipating them all ... at this point I'm just hoping things go smoothly.

March: Comps hit hard and fast at the end of March, while our professors tell us to not stress ourselves out about it, somehow an exam which determines if we qualify for our Masters degree seems to loom heavily over all of our thoughts.

May: Graduation. After 2 years of papers, internships and classes, it will all be ending - exciting enough - but with graduation I also lose my job as graduate assistant and I officially become unemployed.

In the months following I'll try to find a preservation job, and move to a new city. If prayers were answered I would find a position in Charleston, but with so many new graduates from the city flooding the market, it may be difficult.

On top of graduating, finding a job, moving to a new city and hopefully finding a house - I'll be getting married in September! While it can be stressful, I've used planning as a fun distraction from grad school. I can't even imagine the changes between now and 2011! Time will tell!

Dress Distress

Of all the exciting things that come along with being newly engaged and planning a wedding, one of the most thought-consuming aspects of the entire process is finding that perfect dress. "You'll just know!" everyone tells me, "You won't have any doubts when you finally find it!" "I chose the first gown I tried on!"

... at this point I've probably tried on 40 wedding gowns. I've had half a dozen that I truly liked, but not one really took my breath away. Whether it's because the size is too large (or small), or perhaps the sales lady is snotty (why do they even hire women like that at bridal shops??), something always seems just a little off with my dress-shopping experience.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but I tried it on, and it turned out to not be the case. Is it possible that there really is a "perfect dress" out there? Not every women could possibly have that "aha" moment. I have months before I really have to start to decide and I'm still holding out hope that everyone is right, that I'll find my dream dress ... I just wish it would be sooner rather than later!